Reverse bad conditioning

I was a cute little girl [:-)]. I had a friend who used to like me a lot and never wanted to play without me. But she also used to slightly bully me. Not very much. Slightly. But I still went and played happily with her. Ate tomatoes stolen from my fridge outside my house. Good times.

It is widely known that kids have that inherent sense of justice and fairness in them which gets skewed as they grow because of what my dad calls “conditioning”. In spite of all her faults she was still a good friend who used to become happy when she saw me. She must have grown out of her childishness obviously. And even as a little kid I must have known that small mistakes like that can be forgiven for the sake of all the good times I could share with her. Even now I remember only the good times and it is my mom who tells me about the bad things.

[ Disclaimer:- Not advocating bullying. If it’s serious, action has to be taken]

Then something happened to me that unfortunately happens to everyone- I grew up. Became less tolerant. Got more irritated. Couldn’t handle any negative thing about anyone. The result was that I was bitching about people a lot more and talking about them rather than actually enjoying and rejoicing what is good in them.

Obviously, there are some things in people which cannot be forgiven. Like horrible bathroom manners. Sorry. But other than that, its ok, right?

You are tactless, boring, extremely stupid, insecure, dress horribly, are very lazy, care too much about what other people will say, are very rude, charmless, and so on..But still. Still. I love you. We can laugh together. In times of need you will be there for me. And I will be there for you. You will bear with me when I am just not in the mood. And so will I. And I will miss you when you are not there and eat all your food when you are there.

But my dearest friends, lets be more tolerant. Lets forgive people for some of the bad or stupid or tactless parts in them. Lets not discuss it. Get over it. Lets not discuss people so much.

So much is happening in this world which deserves our enlightened minds’ attention. Lets not waste it on small quirks which you and I have.

I am saying sorry for all the times you have had to bear with me but I will also say that there have been lots of times when I have let things pass.

Another thing about growing up is that you start realizing that your mom is right many times. Even when you didn’t agree with her initially. Now I can see that she was right and infinitely more sensible when she said that “Accept people as they are” { and when he said “people are people”}.

Life is really short. Damn, I am almost 21 [:-O]

I want to be at peace with the people I love so that I can then move on to tolerating those I don’t.Image



The attractive thing about not doing anything in this world is that you don’t have to face any consequence of your actions. 

But then, you are never not doing anything. There are consequences. Always.

It is okay if those consequences only affect you. You can cry in silence or crib in public. Your call.

But when a decision you make hurts someone else you can do neither. Worst is when you care so deeply about that person that you jaw hurts when you make that decision. (Try not breathing and crying and talking at the same time. Maybe it’ll explain the jaw.)

But I am a firm believer. I believe that whatever happens happens for the good. Maybe not the collective good but definitely for the individual.

Like promises are meant to be broken, belief and faith are meant to shake and sometimes be lost.

When that happens you shed a tear and write a blog.

            Life, in the meanwhile, marches on.