Self-Destruct

Before I begin an unrelated fact:- I’ve made peace with the fact that my blog is never going to be on the Freshly Pressed Blogs. I make my blog as difficult to understand as possible because it is actually some event which triggers the thought but mostly the event is too personal to share. So, many people might not relate to it. I am OK with that but there is still a tiny hope that a miracle happens and it becomes popular. But then there is nothing really different about a 20 year old writing about..well, things. 

Food which is absolutely delicious and still very healthy is very rare. That is why we love it when we are told that Chocolate can actually be good for us. Of course while munching that sugar laden Diary Milk we forget that they were talking about the pure bitter chocolate which very few actually like.

It is indeed a cruel trick on humanity that all the things which we find enjoyable are not that good for us.

It is a hard, hard life. What is it in us that causes us to break relationships we cherish, leave people we love and walk away from their lives, allow egos to come between friendships or acquaintances we value?

We know we hurting ourselves in the process but still at that moment we are not thinking about the consequences. And if we do end up thinking about consequences all the time then do we end up missing  all the fun in life?

I think I’ve said this before but I am still really confused between the two lines of thought propagated- Live for today or that save for tomorrow.

All these are obviously weaknesses which are sought to be eliminated if you want to reach the top. But it is difficult. Very. That is why whenever we think of the top we think of a pyramid. Not everyone reaches there.

The rest of us have to self-destruct to give space for the strong to climb up and reach the solitary pinnacle. 

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I want the vamp to be the heroine

When I read Gone With the Wind I knew I liked it. My mom gave me one of the reasons why.

It has really strong characters. Even the nanny has a personality. It makes the book fatter but that much better to read. J K Rowling took 7 years to give Harry some character. But other than that he was just a normal guy we could all relate to. Anger, jealousy, crushes, love, fear, and the inevitable maturity which comes after each of these phases.

Now compare this to say Malfoy, who had one particular dominant trait which recurred through the books and for which he was rewarded with a receding hairline in the end- he hated Harry.

All this will make sense. Wait.

If you’ve seen Delhi Belly it might strike you that Imran Khan gets to do all the cool stuff like the girl and chase the car. The humour and wit (and the shit) are reserved to his sidekicks.

In Sex and the City, Samantha is the free and confident woman, Charlotte is the uptight one and Miranda is well, just plain tight. We are told this right from the beginning. But Carrie, whose real name comes first in the credits, is mostly the one who is just asking questions- a mere observer with more dialogues and boyfriends.

Why are the main characters always the same? The safe ones. Non-controversial- the oh-so real ones. The answer of course is to make them relatable to everyone. To make these characters so flexible and undefinable that everyone can see a bit of themselves in them. We don’t want to be like the sidekick do we? After all that person with deplorably generic characteristics is still the hero/heroine and gets the fairy tale in the end. And the more number of people who want to be like the hero greater the viewership/ readership. This means more money.

I don’t know how this thought affects anyone but still my belief is that in real life we like to typecast people into one bracket- the good, bad, weird, smelly, creepy. In farewells we have this one tag given to us that apparently defines what we are in just one word.

I don’t know how any of this makes sense- just another thought I had. Oh! Let me stop analyzing and watch the next episode in the series. It still is good fun.

Addiction

I was very happy when I realized that I was not addicted to Tea. There were days when I didn’t feel like having tea at all.

It made me happy because then my head was under my control. I didn’t something else to freshen me up. Bright sunlight (good sleep usually) does it for me.

Addiction starts from wanting to escape. That’s what I believe. When we are happy with what we are we don’t need some thing external to ourselves to make us happy.

I realized that when I just sat down and thought that I like myself. With all my faults, fears, inadequacies, etc (read the rest of the my blog for what I think are my other shortcomings) I still like myself. And am grateful to myself for giving me the capacity of that joy.

This doesn’t mean that I don’t have issues with me anymore or that there is nothing in the world which makes me happy or sad or I don’t feel like getting an alcoholic high.

It’s just that these things don’t hurt beyond a point. There is that point which I know exists in me which makes me appreciate the world and its beauty and the opportunities of joy it offers.

Not wanting to be charged with theft of ideas I credit the above statement of “not hurting beyond a point” to Fountainhead. Where Roark says that not having Dominique in his life will hurt him immensely but not beyond that point. I love Roark (please don’t confuse Roark with his creator- not a fan of Ayn Rand)

I don’t know why in this world addiction to material substances is looked down upon while addiction to something which makes you “clingy” is not considered to be as serious an issue. I hate it that someone else’s grief/dejection/disappointment makes me thankful that  I am not one to be grieved by such things.

Having just one love in your life is good. But the fact that you can live without that love of your life also is what makes you attractive.

P.S.:- Sorry to be so self-eulogizing but I think it makes a welcome change from the usual self deprecation.